A Reason, A Season or A Lifetime
This week has found me reflecting on all the people who have been or who are in my life.
I have come to realise people are put in my path for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Personally, it’s easier for me to reconcile the transient nature of life and the comings and goings of pivotal people at each point…..I see them a bit like anchors, keeping me grounded for what I need to know at that time. There are times when I feel like I’m floating in a sea of darkness, alone and isolated….more than likely by choice than any other reason.
I believe, pivotal people are used by the universe like a lighthouse to shine the light in the direction that I need to head….these are people that are put in my life for a reason.
About three years ago I was in a position where I didn’t get an art teaching job, which I thought I would….At the time, it was my dream job….I was totally devastated, my dream had been shattered! My boss at the time said something which has stuck with me to this day…..She said I was meant do and be more than just an art teacher! At the time I thought, that’s crazy, all I have ever wanted to be was an art teacher…how could I be anything else. Little did I know her comment was the catalyst for my entire career taking a different path? As a result I have now gained a Masters in Special Education and have found a new passion for teaching and learning.
Actually while I am sitting here typing it has just hit me……..this week is the second anniversary of the passing of a school friend. Although I hadn’t spoken to this friend in years, he was a friend and a safe ear at a time when I needed it. His passing, two years ago was the catalyst for unlocking all the experiences and emotions I had kept locked up, deep inside for years. His passing was the reason I began my healing journey…..He was in my life for a season, when I needed a person to confide in and listen, at that time I needed more than anything to be heard, which he did…..This person taught me it is possible to trust and not be hurt.
Sixteen years ago, I met the man I knew I would spend the rest of my life with….back then we were young and didn’t really know what we needed or wanted, but we clicked almost instantly. I had never met him before, but strangely felt like I knew him and he was the same. I trusted in him in love and honesty and for the first time in a long time felt a sense of peace and belonging. It was quite a strange feeling for me, because I had spent a large part of my life (up to that point), building strong walls around my heart. Back then I didn’t even realise that’s what I did…..however hindsight, education and knowledge has shown me what I did in the past, simply to survive.
Meeting my future husband and the father of my three beautiful children on that hot summer night was the beginning of our lifetime together……and as I sit here and reflect on all that has happened in the past year…I know that without him supporting me, holding my hand and squeezing it extra tight when I needed it, I couldn’t have the strength I do today.
Recently I have noticed I’ve had a circle of strong women surrounding me, they are from various walks of life and ages. Their friendship, kindness and kinships been invaluable to me and means more than words can express. We can joke around, laugh and at times just be plain silly….which is fun and let’s be honest….sometimes it’s good to be immature for a while! However I also find a sense of strength and empowerment through meaningful conversation and shared experiences and no longer feel isolated and alone.
The pivotal people in my life have believed in me when I couldn’t and urged me on when I thought there was not another ounce of energy to give and most importantly taught me to believe in myself.
For me, self-belief is a difficult concept to grasp, but I’ll get there…..it is definitely a slow process and for me who is incredibly impatient, this can be frustrating, but I know healing and finding peace, love, harmony and balance within my soul will be worth it in the end….because I AM WORTH IT!
Until next week, peace, hugs & big love,
T xoxoxo
